Lets give every Cub player a nickname

[Ace]

Dempster should be called Gonnor, Lord of the Damned and Burny.

[MW4]

Gaudin = Big Rack Attack

Fuku = Corkscrew

Bradley = M*A*S*H

Soriano = Yippie Skip

Reed Johnson = Boner Bill Birkenshaw

Soto = ROY Hobbs

Lee = Sleepy

Font = Blonde Bomber

Riot = Piss on a sparkplug

A-Ram = Slamma Jamma

Hoff = Human Hokie

Lou = Sizzle

Larry R = Preparation R

Z = Quarter Stick

Dempster = King of Comedy

Lilly = Left in the dark

Marshall = 3 day growth

Hardin = Fast MoFo

Smardijia (sp) = Cock Swallows

Marmol = Pride of the DR

Gregg = I'm not Woody

Hendry = The Baconator

[dk123]

<!--quoteo(post=23851:date=Mar 18 2009, 03:18 PM:name=Clapp)-->QUOTE (Clapp @ Mar 18 2009, 03:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec--><!--quoteo(post=23850:date=Mar 18 2009, 02:17 PM:name=Fella)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Fella @ Mar 18 2009, 02:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->Alex Gonzalez walk off HR against the Cardinals in 2003, I remember jumping around my house after that one. He had just hit a walk off in another game a few days earlier too.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Fuck that nickname.
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[img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]

[veryzer]

<!--quoteo(post=23946:date=Mar 18 2009, 07:01 PM:name=ruby23)-->QUOTE (ruby23 @ Mar 18 2009, 07:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec--><!--quoteo(post=23943:date=Mar 18 2009, 06:59 PM:name=veryzer)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (veryzer @ Mar 18 2009, 06:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec--><!--quoteo(post=23934:date=Mar 18 2009, 06:41 PM:name=ruby23)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (ruby23 @ Mar 18 2009, 06:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec--><!--quoteo(post=23928:date=Mar 18 2009, 06:34 PM:name=veryzer)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (veryzer @ Mar 18 2009, 06:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->the riot is the riot. i like penis wrinkle though. lets give it to someone else. maybe chad gaudin?<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
See "The Riot" bullshit is part of the reason I hate him, dumbass fucking nickname. He's not a riot, he's a fucking chode, he's a boner, he's penis wrinkle, he's a peckerwood, but I know he's not a riot.

Anywho, Miles and Theriot can be the Penis Wrinkles, together forever, joined at the foreskin.
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but thats what makes it funny, he's not a riot.
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Can we call Miles "Penis Wrinkle" then?
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absolutely.

[VanSlawAndCottoCheese]

We could give Bradley nicknames derived from the game company:

If he plays well: "Yahtzee!"
If he plays poorly: "Aggravation"
If he's difficult in the clubhouse: "Trouble"
If he's spends a lot of time on the DL: "Operation"

[VanSlawAndCottoCheese]

Can we give Gathright the nickname "The Lynx"?

I've always wanted to nickname someone "The Lynx."

[veryzer]

<!--quoteo(post=24024:date=Mar 19 2009, 09:43 AM:name=VanSlawAndCottoCheese)-->QUOTE (VanSlawAndCottoCheese @ Mar 19 2009, 09:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->Can we give Gathright the nickname "The Lynx"?

I've always wanted to nickname someone "The Lynx."<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->


done.

i'd like to call soto "sweat."

c - sweat
1b - ?
2b - the font
3b - ram? (kind of lame, unlike "the font")
ss - the riot
rf - ?
cf - mr. sparkle
rf - pandemonium

miles - penis wrinkle
gathright - the lynx

[Butcher]

Ramirez should be The Cocksman. But you have to capitalize the "T" and "C." Even you, tom.

[ruby23]

Marmol is "Ears"

[Jody]

I think Marmol is Shrek.

[VanSlawAndCottoCheese]

<!--quoteo(post=24031:date=Mar 19 2009, 11:20 AM:name=Jody)-->QUOTE (Jody @ Mar 19 2009, 11:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->I think Marmol is Shrek.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I like it.

[Butcher]

Santo (our Santo, not Ron Santo) once told Rapp that his earlobes look like Nutter Butters.

I think Marmol should be named Nutter Butter.

[Butcher]

And Shrek is David Ortiz. It's already taken.

[VanSlawAndCottoCheese]

<!--quoteo(post=24035:date=Mar 19 2009, 11:47 AM:name=Butcher)-->QUOTE (Butcher @ Mar 19 2009, 11:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->Santo (our Santo, not Ron Santo) once told Rapp that his earlobes look like Nutter Butters.

I think Marmol should be named Nutter Butter.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I like it.

[VanSlawAndCottoCheese]

<!--quoteo(post=23823:date=Mar 18 2009, 02:33 PM:name=Butcher)-->QUOTE (Butcher @ Mar 18 2009, 02:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->Milton Bradley -- Pandæmonium (or Pandemonium). Pandemonium is the capitol of hell in the epic poem, <i>Paradise Lost,</i> by...wait for it...John <b>Milton.</b>
I need to brainstorm some new ones...<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
You a Milton scholar, Butcher? I know a few Milton scholars. Thy just keep piling up.