I've found the most retarded person on the internet.

I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - Printable Version

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I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - PcB - 01-12-2009

So on CBS Sportsline they have a thing where you can play the GM of your favorite team and blog about it. This guy is actually serious in all of these suggestions about fixing the Cubs.

QUOTE “Fix this team: Chicago Cubs/ Orioles/Giants”
Posted on: December 23, 2008 10:34 am
Score: 87
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I'm tired of hearing that the Cubs are close. It's time to get rid of the old contracts and build around Rich Harden and Carlos Zambrano with defense, hustle and enthusiasm. Call it the Ryan Theriot / Mike Fontenot era.

1st I love the acquisition of Joey Gathwright. He's actually hit at every level he's been used at. I mean 3 AB's per game not just as a pinch-runner and defensive replacement. He also had very good numbers for assists in the minors. He'll never hit for power but start him. While he's starting think about how Bobby Dernier changed the cubs.

2nd Its time for the 3 Amigos to move on. Aramis Ramirez, Derrek Lee and Alfonzo Soriano are the big name big dollar guys that have actually forced me to watch the hustling Tampa Rays instead of the swing for the fences and miss Cubs. I'd move all 3.

I'd send Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez, while eating a portion of those contracts, to Baltimore. Brian Roberts ? No thanks. More big money. Nice Player but so are Fontenot and Theriot. Let's keep those guys hustling.

Lee and Ramirez to Baltimore for A bag of magic beans works for me, but I'd rather have 4 prospects/ suspects.

1. Little Lefty Troy Patton who could fit nicely between the big righties and become the next Jamie Moyer. Patton is 23.

2. 3B Tyler Henson, who strikes out too much but has power and speed potential. He's 21.

3. LF Luis Montanez, a former Cub Farm hand who it seemed to click for last season at Bowie. He's 27 and finally had a break out year.

4. and AA Right Hand starter - the big name- Chris Tillman, only 20, Tillman dominated at Bowie last year. Going 11-4 with 154 k's.

Baltimore signed Isturiz to play SS next to Roberts, They have Left Handed Power in Scott, Markakis, and Huff, a good looking young kid in Adam Jones in CF, but they have an aging 3B in Melvin Mora and no one at 1st base. If Matt Weiters is what they think he is - Lee and Ramirez in the cozy Camden Yards (I've been to Wrigley and Camden Yards are the better hitters park) is a good fit. They have young pitching in Liz, Olson, Guthrie, Burres, and rookies Matusz and Hernandez. So giving up some kids is do-able and it clears space and helps the cubs long term.

At 1b - I'd look hard at Tampa Bay's Eric Hinske as a short-term and possibly surprising long term replacement. Hinkse grew up a cub fan. Started his career in the cubs minor league system and brings a solid left-handed bat to battle it out with Micah Hoffpair. Hinske can play 4 spots.

At 3B - The short term place holder should be Ty Wiggington an under-rated RH power bat. Josh Vitters eventually takes the role but Wiggington can play baseball and 5 positions. Hinske can play here too, against Righties.

At 2B - Fontenot Both Backed by DeRosa

At SS - Theriot With Ronny Cedeno back

In CF - Gathwright With Reed Johnson in Reserve

In LF - Montanez With DeRosa in Reserve

Which brings me to my next cap clearing trade Rafeal Soriano, can go to a team more tolerant of players that can't touch a curve ball. I'm thinking mutual salary dump here- Soriano and Fukudome to San Francisco for Barry Zito and Nate Schierholtz. Sure Zito took some raps but he started out 0-8 and finished with 4 quality starts in 5 games. With Lincecum, Lowry, Cain, Sanchez as the big four the Giants can afford this. Schierholtz could be a future all-star but Soriano and Fukudome already are and Fukudome's Japanese Heritage would play well in San Fran.

In RF - Schierholtz

Catching - Soto. And Koyie Hill.

Zambrano, Zito, Harden, Ted Lilly and Ryan Dempster make a very expensive Starting Rotation and they also leave Rich Hill and Jason Marquis to move for prospects.

The Bullpen. Gosh I wish they'd have kept Kerry Wood -

but Guzman, Samardzija, Marmol and Gregg from the Right Side all have closer potential. Gaudin is solid in the middle.

and Cotts, and Sean Marshall man the Left Side.

So the Lineup is -

1. CF Joey Gathwright - the next Willie Wilson/ Bobby Dernier

2. SS Theriot

3. RF Schierholz

4. C Soto

5. 1B Hinske / Hoffpair

6. 3B Wiggington

7. LF Montanez or DeRosa

8. 2B Fontenot

If Free Agent Adam Dunn comes cheap enough he could play RF with Montanez moving to the bench.

But we added speed in CF, kept the defense strong up the middle, added Left Handed power, reduced the clutch strike outs by moving Soriano, added another veteran lefty who has a much different arm angle than Ted Lilly. Kept a youthful bullpen in place. and Added - potential future rotation pieces in Patton and Tillman and a potential future stick in Henson. Not too mention getting younger with Schierholtz, Montanez, Gathwright representing the future core with Hoffpair and Vetters and Soto.

Marquis would move to the Rockies or Mets.

Hill would be a nice addition with the Yankees.

Maybe you'd move Cedeno, a reliever, and Reed Johnson or Felix Pie for the right bag of prospects.

But this team would be capable of winning, fun to watch, and capable of sustaining winning with guys like Pie (who I think strikes out too much), Colvin, Henson, Vetters, Tillman and Patton coming on.

It also leaves Zito and Lilly as lefties over 30 and puts a lineup in place with only Wiggington at 3rd over 30 at 31.

The bench is veteran and flexible with Hinske at 3B/1b/RF/LF, DeRosa- if not starting- capable at SS, 3B, 1b, LF and RF, Reed Johnson who can play all 3 outfield positions, Ronnie Cedeno in the middle of the Infield and Koyie Hill as the back-up catcher.

It moves 6 players over 30, by leaving Daryle Ward off the roster and moving Fukudome, Soriano, Lee, and Ramirez and confirming that Jason Marquis is expendable.

It also puts players behind the oldest parts of the roster and makes future moves, like trading Ted Lilly, a long term possibility but not a necessity.

This team contends - for a long time.

Category: MLB
Tags: Cubs, Giants, Orioles

Wow. Congratulations you just built the worst team in the National league. Idiot.

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I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - PcB - 01-12-2009

He posted a follow up...

QUOTE Cub fans hated my fix this team...
Posted on: January 5, 2009 8:46 pm
Score: 86
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I'm sure they're much happier with the signing of DH Milton Bradley. DH Bradley in RF will look fine paired with DH Soriano in LF.

Note to Hendry the Steroid Era IS over. Pitching and Defense win titles again. If you want to win - make that the cornerstone of your team and your scouting.

Bradley ? Really ?

DeRosa 505 ABs .285 avg 21 homeruns 87 rbi's 6 sb's 105 runs scored. Plays 6 positions.

Bradley 414 ABs .321 avg 22 homeruns 77 rbi's 5 sb's and 79 runs scored. DH and LF. Hasn't put in 100 games in the OF in 4 years.

He's been with 7 teams in 8 years so he must be a good club house guy.

10 million a year for Bradley and 4.5 million a year for DeRosa ?

Has anyone checked the Tribune companies books ?

This should guarantee a spot in CF for Joey Gathwright but it probably doesn't. Fukudome will move from RF to CF. Kosuke had a .980 fielding pct. as a RF (the place where teams hide the worst defender last year). His 12 steals suggest he doesn't have the speed for CF.

This team is going nowhere fast- luckily they play in the weakest division in baseball because that will fill the seats in Wrigley. They should lead start to finish. And bow out in the first round of the playoffs.

He does finally provide a Left Handed bat. But 10 million for a guy who played RF for 19 games ? a guy who hits .274 when asked to play the outfield ? a guy who struck out 112 times in 414 at bats (27% of the time) ? and maybe most importantly a guy who has seen the post season 3 times and the world series not at all ?

But he should play with some passion.

Bradley gives the Cubs a 32 million dollar OF. With a LF who had a fielding% of .975 and struck out 22.7% of the time. A CF with a .980 fielding% who struck out 21% of the time and a RF with a .939 fielding% who struck out 27% of the time.

(the Rays OF of Crawford, Upton and Gross who make less across the board - struck out 13.5% of the time, 18.2% of the time and 24% of the time - the 24% belongs to Gross - who pretty much slid into the 7 slot).

Hey - Phillies struck out a lot too but all the guys they had with high strike out % hit for more power than the cubs outfield - but that must be a factor of the not so friendly confines.

Other playoff teams like the Red Sox, Angels, White Sox, and Dodgers had 2 players or less with 20% plus strikeouts. Probably just a coincidence.

Then there's Aramis Ramirez at 3B - a .945 fielding %. the cubs overall of .947 was 5th lowest in the league. Worst in the league in LF. Middle of the pack at 1b, 2b, C, and RF, near the bottom in CF (and dropping) near the bottom at SS.

Pitching and defense win championships. Again. It went away for awhile but it's back now.

Did you know Bradley's slugging % and batting average have been higher against Lefties than Righties in 5 of the last 7 seasons ?

Most people would say Bradley has moved around because of his attitude and his incidents with teammates and fans - but it could be the guy doesn't have a position except DH and the Dodgers, Padres, Rangers, A's, Expos and Indians didn't think a guy who wasn't playing the field was worth 10 million.

Seems to be a lofty investment. The next move for the Cubbies is pretty obvious - Manny Ramirez !

Category: MLB
Tags: Chicago Cubs

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I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - phan - 01-12-2009

you read all that? who's the idiot?

I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - PcB - 01-12-2009

QUOTE (phan @ Jan 12 2009, 01:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>you read all that? who's the idiot?

[img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] I guess you have a point.

I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - Gad - 01-12-2009

Wow that was incredible.

I think my favorite part was his assessment of Wiggington.

QUOTE Wiggington can play baseball

I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - Butcher - 01-12-2009

QUOTE So the Lineup is -

1. CF Joey Gathwright - the next Willie Wilson/ Bobby Dernier

2. SS Theriot

3. RF Schierholz

4. C Soto

5. 1B Hinske / Hoffpair

6. 3B Wiggington

7. LF Montanez or DeRosa

8. 2B Fontenot
That lineup would score about 200 runs and lose about 120 games.

I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - PcB - 01-12-2009

QUOTE (Butcher @ Jan 12 2009, 02:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE So the Lineup is -

1. CF Joey Gathwright - the next Willie Wilson/ Bobby Dernier

2. SS Theriot

3. RF Schierholz

4. C Soto

5. 1B Hinske / Hoffpair

6. 3B Wiggington

7. LF Montanez or DeRosa

8. 2B Fontenot
That lineup would score about 200 runs and lose about 120 games.
</div>

But... they would be young. Plus it would get rid of those terrible players like Aram and D-Lee. Not to mention that Soriano guy. If we replace all of them with career reserves or minor leaguers how can we not get better?

I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - chemikel - 01-12-2009

I actually read it up until he suggested picking up Luis Montanez. He has to be joking. No way anybody could be that stupid.

I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - PcB - 01-12-2009

QUOTE (chemikel @ Jan 12 2009, 02:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>I actually read it up until he suggested picking up Luis Montanez. He has to be joking. No way anybody could be that stupid.
Yeah, I think if Hendry even joked about replacing Soriano with Luis Montanez he would be fired and deloused on the spot.

I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - rok - 01-12-2009

QUOTE (Butcher @ Jan 12 2009, 02:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE So the Lineup is -

1. CF Joey Gathwright - the next Willie Wilson/ Bobby Dernier

2. SS Theriot

3. RF Schierholz

4. C Soto

5. 1B Hinske / Hoffpair

6. 3B Wiggington

7. LF Montanez or DeRosa

8. 2B Fontenot
That lineup would score about 200 runs and lose about 120 games.
</div>
I think you're being too generous.

I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - phan - 01-12-2009

i stopped reading after he said we should rebuild around rich hill and zambrano

I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - coolpoppa - 01-12-2009

You know, for a minute there, I swear I was taken back to ITI....anyone smell a turtleneck relative here?

Made Up Reporter: Who were your influences in journalism?
Steve Holley: *Laughs* Oh, I love Tom Brokaw. I have his poster above my bed.
Made Up Reporter: He's pretty hot, eh?
Steve Holley: *adjusts self* Oh, you could say that.

I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - Quinn - 01-13-2009

QUOTE (phan @ Jan 12 2009, 02:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>i stopped reading after he said we should rebuild around rich hill and zambrano
He didn't:

It's time to get rid of the old contracts and build around Rich Harden and Carlos Zambrano with defense, hustle and enthusiasm.

I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - veryzer - 01-13-2009

he called soriano "rapheal."

I've found the most retarded person on the internet. - Tailgater - 01-13-2009

Double check that guy, it looks like a Larry Himes team.